Bertram Gilfoyle (refered simply as Gilfoyle by most characters) is one of the main characters of Silicon Valley, appearing in every season of the show. Portayed by Martin Starr, Gilfoyle is a Canadian man living in the Silicon Valley area of Northern California, staying at Erlich Bachman’s Hacker Hostel and working for Pied Piper, which he was one of the founding members.

Memorable Quotes

“What do I do? System Architecture. Networking and Security. No one in this house can touch me on that. But does anyone appreciate that? While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing acapella at Sarah Lawrence, I was getting root access to NSA servers. I was a click away from starting a second Iranian revolution. I prevent cross site scripting, I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. The internet, heard of it? Transfers half a petabyte of data a minute, do you have any idea how that happens? All of those YouPorn ones and zeros streaming directly to your shitty little smart phone day after day. Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can’t get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds. It’s not magic, it’s talent and sweat. People like me ensuring your packets get delivered unsniffed. So what do I do? I make sure that one bad config on one key component doesn’t bankrupt the entire fucking company. That’s what the fuck I do.”

“Every day feels like I’ve died and gone to Hell.”

About

Contributors

The Ylang Ylang Tree

Alex Curtis-Slep